Accepting that my baby will now be the eldest.

I’m 30 weeks pregnant and while I’m so excited and thankful to be having another child I’m so desperately sad to say goodbye to our family of 3 dynamic. 

Because MM works weekdays I’ve always felt like Pops and I have our own little weekday duo, it’s just been us against the world for the majority and although it’s been hard (bloody hard some days) she’s my little partner and I couldn’t be happier or more proud of the little girl she’s turned into.

From the days I couldn’t cope and we both sat in a corner crying, the ones where I thought she’d never be one of those kids who watched tv as she only like music channels (haha I was wrong!) the many coffee dates we would go on, the walks down to the park, the baby groups where we met our Friend family and the many days of silly faces and laughter. 

My baby the eldest

 

I’ll miss this little girl, I’ll miss who she was before she was a big sister. I know she’ll make the best big sister and it will be an incredible sight to see but the idea of my baby being the big sister is one I can’t get my head around. A couple of weeks ago I remember saying to her that I’ll miss her being this little and her reply was something I never anticipated ‘don’t be sad Mummy, I’ll always be your baby’ she’s grown up so quick and I feel like I’ve missed it. 

I never really considered the loss I would feel by being pregnant and having another baby, but I do. I’m gaining so much more but I still feel sad and guilty. I then feel guilty for feeling like this because I’m lucky to be having another. I hope I’m not alone in this? 

My baby the eldest

There are 10 weeks left (if all goes to plan) within this trio. 10 weeks left as me and my girl and I want to make the most of it. I want to take as many pictures and have as many cuddles as possible. I won’t turn her away if she comes into our room at night. I’ll make sure we laugh lots and make memories. 

She really will forever be my baby but she’ll no longer be THE baby… Well maybe she’ll be my baby the eldest. 

Until the next post,

Are and Pops. 

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